It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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