If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
