i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You ruined the universe
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
