I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
