Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
