Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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