Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
