The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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