you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
