You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
