the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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