Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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