Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
This toilet bowl is my home.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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