remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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