I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
