But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
