I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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