is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
