you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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