Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
