I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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