I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
