During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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