Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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