He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
