like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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