I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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