You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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