with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
