Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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