Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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