"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
