seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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