I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
