the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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