my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
