So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
