Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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