ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
