I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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