She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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