i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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