just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
