My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you never un-have a 4some
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
