Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you never un-have a 4some
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
