Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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