Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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