I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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