i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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