I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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