I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
