super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
