Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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