your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
