I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
