good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
