I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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