The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
