I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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