I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize