saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
