i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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