You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
